Danny & Andy
by Finalinsanity
Summary: Gameguy, married to his house made of cheese, unleashes his true feelings for Danny.


Gameguy hadn't seen a smellier sight in years. Mostly because you can't see smells unless you have a Mask of Scents.

Gameguy lived in a house made entirely of cheese. His furniture, bed, everything but the actual technology were all finely crafted out of cheddar, mozzarella, parmesan, and other assorted dairy products. His shower and sink ran fresh milk every day, as the pipelines were directly connected to the nearby farm.

Unfortunately for him, this glorious display of Kraftsmanship was not in the best shape it could be. After arriving from his intense job of playing video games for the internet, as well as buying a new pair of ice skates for no adequate reason, he found his humble abode with the entire ceiling sunken in.

"Dang it, sun!" Gameguy shook his fist at the heavens. "You _had_ to go and melt my house. You couldn't just let the clouds stick around, could you?" Gameguy vowed vengeance, and stormed into his garage and sifted through his belongings which were not made of cheese nor melted. He found a wooden, yellow, L-shaped object; his trusty boomerang, and marched outside to confront the sun.

"**Hey, sun! Do you want my boomerang?!**" Gameguy chucked the boomerang as hard as he could, aiming directly to the sky and bonking the sun in the face.

"Ow! Darn you Gameguy! You ruined my face! I'll be back someday!" The sun retreated, leaving his brother, the true sun, back to his post.

"Sorry about that", the true sun apologized. "Angry Sun has a bit of a temper problem. Here, I'll make it up to you." As thanks, the sun froze for two seconds, causing the earth to freeze and killing everyone.

Just kidding. He restored Gameguy's house to normal. Because he's the sun and can totally do that.

Sighing, Gameguy went back inside. He took a look around, and everything was just as he had left it. His gaze turned to a plaque at the top of the doorway to his room, reading "Gameguy and House – Declared Husband and Dairy on ?d/Lj/fl". The exact date had long been smudged out, but he didn't really care. Nor did House. Just as long as the two of them were together, that was all that mattered.

At work the next day, he ran into his good friend, Danny, who had just finished punching a rather annoying customer in the face (Her boss approved of this action greatly). Gameguy stiffened somewhat in her presence. Danny smiled as she passed him, saying hello and giving him a wink. She had done this for months now. Every time the two of them ran into each other, no matter the circumstances, there was always a wink and a smile to start things off. Of course, being the dense male lead of this story, Gameguy couldn't take hints for beans, and so was completely befuddled by her actions.

Still, despite his befuddlement, Gameguy's heart skipped a beat every time he saw Danny. He couldn't understand it. He and House had been happily married for some time now, and he'd known Danny for years. Why had this unease only surfaced recently? He decided to ignore it and file it away for later scientific research, and continue with his day as normal.

At lunch, Gameguy sat in the cafeteria in his usual place, off in the corner table. As he unpacked his lunch, Danny briskly walked over and sat right down next to him.

"Hi, Gameguy." She smiled sweetly at him and gave her trademark wink. Gameguy quietly nodded and pretended that he wasn't in the mood to talk. Danny didn't buy it. "So, I've been thinking lately..."

"Huh. There's a new one." Gameguy snickered. He hadn't cracked a good pun all day, though this one was fairly overused. Danny's response was a playful smack on the shoulder.

"Oh, shut up! Listen..." Her voice softened as she spoke. "There's this guy here at work that I really like. He's a really sweet guy, and I really want to ask him out... but I don't think he knows I like him."

"You're probably right." Gameguy remarked, not really thinking much. He was too concentrated on his food to care about what she was saying. Today's lunch was an egg-salad sandwich with extra egg and salad. Bliss. "You're _pretty subtle_, honestly."

"W-what's that supposed to mean?!" Danny flustered. _He's so dense! _she thought. _Doesn't he realize what I'm trying to tell him?_

Meanwhile, Gameguy remained fixated on his sandwich. Something was bothering him about it. He had all the ingredients he wanted on it. They were all fresh, just recently prepared that morning. He glared at it for two solid minutes before realizing exactly what was wrong with it, something he'd completely forgotten about.

He didn't put bread on it. He stood up and broke into a run to the kitchen. "Sorry Danny! Bread! _Breeeaaad_!"

Danny just sat there, all by herself, with some people staring at her, but most people staring at Gameguy as he ran. What else could she do? She turned back to her own lunch, and quietly began to eat. _Sigh._

Gameguy didn't see Danny for the rest of the day. He rarely did after lunch, with how their work shifts were scheduled. He returned to the house after an otherwise uneventful work day, somewhat exhausted and feeling the urge to break out into song. Or play some music on his cheesestick piano. As he was jamming out the Song of Healing on his comically oversized musical instrument, the House cleared its nonexistent throat.

"Gameguy! What's with you today? You haven't played the piano in weeks, and now suddenly you jam on out of nowhere!" House was irritated with him. It demanded an answer.

"I don't know, House. I keep thinking. And I don't think very well."

"Well, I knew that a long time ago." House remarked. "Something's different about this though..." House puzzled things for a bit before whispering. "...it's that Danny chick, isn't it?"

Gameguy stiffened again. This was one subject he didn't want to argue to House with. "Look, she's a work... buddy... person... girl. That has lungs and can breath, and has feet. That's all." He stormed out of the room, heading to bed with frustration on his face.

He woke up the next morning with his pho-

"PHOOOOOOONE!" Gameguy jolted out of bed and smashed his fist on his phone. Or rather, on his desk, because that's where he thought he'd put it. After removing the splinters and bandaging his hand in duct tape, he answered.

"Hi, I'm Gameguy, and I just woke up! Who is this?" Gameguy mentally slapped himself. _Dang it! That's only for on the job, not answering random calls! ...why does my phone keep fixing itself when I break it, anyways?_

"Heeey Gameguy! It's Danny!" Even through voice alone he could tell she was grinning from ear to ear. "Hey, since it's the weekend, wanna just hang out? Like, go get lunch?"

Gameguy glanced over to the clock. He'd somehow slept until 11 AM. Having not had breakfast, the idea of lunch sounded marvelous. "I guess. What did you have in mind?"

So it happened that Gameguy and Danny went off on a picnic. They brought a carpet, basket, and even food. And these sandwiches actually had bread on them! Though it was slightly awkward to eat with one hand essentially as a ball of duct tape, he managed.

"So, um, Gameguy... can I tell you something?" Danny twiddled her hands around nervously, having just polished off a bag of potato chips.

"I guess. You know how to talk, right? As long as you know how to talk, you should be able to."

"Well, we've been friends for awhile now, and I just... I wanted to say that I really like you."

"Aw, I really like you too."

Danny's eyes took on a shine. "W-wait, you mean that?"

"Well, yeah. You're a pretty good friend."

Danny dropped her gaze. "Oh. So that's all it is." Gameguy sat there, squirming. He had a choice. Stay loyal to his house, tell Danny his feelings, or eat the rest of the food.

He quickly turned his attention to the tuna sandwich he'd prepared. He needed the emergency brain food to make this difficult decision. As he bit into the perfect combination of hard-boiled egg, lettuce, tuna, and mayonnaise, he felt his mind surge with an inner resolve, a desire to do what he had to.

And so, he bolted upright and loudly declared; "Danny, I... you... will you go ice-skating in a volcano with me?"

Danny was in disbelief. Gameguy had asked her on the most romantic activity available to them. It was her greatest dream, and there she was, wide awake, hearing it in reality. She rose and put her arms around Gameguy, and he put his around and held her close to him. "Of course, Gameguy. I'd love to go with you."

The two of them met at Mt. Lava Lava the very next day. Gameguy didn't bother telling House where he was going. He didn't care what happened to House at this point. He rushed off, and the two of them met in the very crater of the volcano, where they paid the admission and went off on their merry way.

Gameguy was a natural. He'd been ice-skating for years, several times with a partner, though this was his first time in such an environment. They twirled, they danced, they fell flat on their asses, they laughed, and they froze the very magma to its core with the power of their love.

After a while, the two of them slowed, almost strolling through the area, hand in hand, staring deep into each others eyes. "Gameguy... I've had the most amazing time with you." Danny's eyes pierced Gameguy's mind, wiping out all thoughts of anything but her. The two of them gradually leaned in towards each other, lips approaching ever closer...

KRAKOOOM!

The ice around them began cracking, fire and lava spewing forth. The volcano was erupting! No love so powerful could stop such a force of nature. The time for romance had passed, and the two of them had to get out!

The escape was practically a blur. Gameguy could scarcely recall the path they'd taken, only that the two of them made great leaps over pits, froze the ground they skated on simply to make a path, and in the end...

The volcano erupted, and the two had made it just far enough to be borne aloft by the explosion. They flew through the air, taking in a breathtaking view of the volcano, the surrounding forest, and the lake just below them.

Wait, lake?

The pair landed with a gigantic splash in the water below, defying physics and living the fall. Gameguy chalked it up to dumb luck, though Danny felt convinced it was the power of their hearts combined. He rolled his eyes at such a suggestion. The two of them teased each other and made fun of their situation the whole way home.

Then they reached House, who was VERY pissed off.

"G-Gameguy! How _could_ you?! I thought we were inseparable! Two of a pair! The greatest union of human and dairy that ever lived!"

Gameguy wrapped his arms around Danny and hugged her. "Sorry House, but I'm kinda in love with someone else now, I guess. But hey, I think I know a log cabin that would adore you!"

House burst into milk tears. "No! It's not the same... I... I can't live without you. You're the only one for me... and if you don't love me anymore... there's no reason for me to live!"

Saying these final few words, the ground began to rumble as House swelled up. Gameguy and Danny took cover behind a nearby tree, and House burst, a fantastic explosion of all forms of cheese and other dairy products showering the surrounding area. House was no more. Killed by its own heartache and cholesterol.

Looking back upon the wreckage, Gameguy let out a sigh. His life had changed that day, for the better. And it was all because Danny had become a greater part of it. He gazed into her eyes, and she looked back into his, thoughts of everything but one another vanishing. As their lips drew together, a single phrase whispered past Gameguy's lips.

"This is pretty great."

END


End file.
